Weddings, witness the joining of two lovers, a magical time, right? You never think when your sitting in the pews at the church, or when your dancing your butt off, who or what all went into this to make it this cool or nice. Nope, probably not, you're probably more worried about the salad being, funky tasting, or trying to hook up with that cute guy or girl across the way. But you never really realize how terrible the job of being the maid of honor is until you're her. That's when the drama kicks in.
Day one on the job is the easiest, by far, the excitement of a sibling or good friend is engaged, yay, moving on. Day two, hell sets it's sights on you. First you're asked to go with the bride to pick out colors for the wedding and bridesmaids dresses, this I was lucky enough to miss out on. I could only imagine how painstakingly boring this could have been. Next comes choosing the style of dresses for the bridesmaids, rules given, floor length, and make sure no cleavage, because a fat bride has to have a lot of fat friends, thankfully I am not one. So you know how hard it is to find a pretty dress like that? Hard, and so what are you left with an ugly champagne coloured dress with pleats in the boob area, not even close to flattering. But you suck it up and get fitted for it.
Then next comes the jewelry for the bridesmaids. Do you think the bride would pick it out? Nope all you, the maid of honor's job, First you need matching earrings and a necklace, and then a bracelet. These items of jewelry are meant to be gifts from the bride, when in fact the money to purchase these comes from the maid of honor. How lovely, now you're out over $125 dollars due to purchasing all the bridesmaids and yourselves jewelry. Shoes follow suit, everyone bought their own but, you'll always have that one dumb bridesmaid who will miss the sale and wont buy the shoes, so up until the last minute you're searching desperately for shoes for her to make up. The end result is that you give her your shoes that you planned to wear and go out and get different shoes for yourself. Then the bride turns into bridezilla about you having different shoes, lovely.
And Since you are the maid of honor, you get the taste of printing out the thank you gift bags, and printing the programs. And she hates your program idea and rants hate, and deletes you off facebook and tells you not to talk to her til the day of the wedding. Classy Peg.
And yet the big day is 72 hours away now? And I plan on leaving the reception early, due to this new found dislike for my sister, the Bride.
